A series of guest posts by Samuel Faith
Whenever asked, most fellow members of our male species will answer that they have no interest in style or fashion. They will proudly proclaim that they are confident enough in whatever they are wearing, and they will never bother learning about style because it is such a waste of their time.
If we are close enough to them, or drill them with enough questions, most of them will later reveal that the real reason for them to hold their interest in becoming stylish is simply because they have no clue. Anything about style confuses them; and wherever they turn, they always encounter advices from fashionistas which are more suitable for runways rather than everyday-wear.
Worst part for most men? They are often advice to depart a significant chunk of paper from their wallet to look good. Some follow those advices. Almost all of them fail utterly because they just don't know what really makes them look good and stylish. All they are doing would be following advices from magazines blindly, or trying to emulate someone's style without realising it might not be for them. They don't feel confident in the new expensive clothes they put on. They don't know that they are wearing two sizes bigger than their body. They think wearing designer labels will instantly change their look into George Clooney. When they fail with all that, they finally resort to claiming they have no interest in style and think that they look good enough. Reality? They feel insecure deep down, and have given up on trying to develop a good style.
We would like to change that. In this series of articles we address clothing and style “mistakes”. There are those among you who are able to pull-off some of the items in the “Never Ever” and “Worst Nightmare” Categories. If this is you, cheers! But reality is not many can do that. We addressed these for those among us in the process of developing a signature style. As mentioned earlier “style” comes from within. It involves dressing, as well as confidence, and other emotions. It can be cultivated. Our goal is to help you cultivate yours. Until then, by avoiding these clothing “don’ts”, and using our tips for immediately improving your style, you can be well dressed, and comfortable in your skin.
Your Worst Nightmare
Clothes are an extension of you. They just don't cover your bare naked body. They tell to the whole world who you are; what you represent; and what qualities you offer. It is true, looks can be deceiving but our brains are programmed to judge as soon as possible. It is coded in our genes. This means we notice appearances first. Humans are such visually driven creatures. Since the stone ages, humans judged others from their appearance to determine potential threat. Tens of thousands of years later, it is already ingrained within our genetic code but now we judge appearance for many different things, not just threat level.
Unfair as it seems, first impression is incredibly important. How often do we really wait to judge someone's character? Even if you wait to make your final “Worst thing you can ever do? Sending a totally wrong message to the brains.
Have you ever been to a party full of 8s and 9s gorgeous girls/guys around but found no one really pays attention? Or worse, getting the wrong kind of attention simply because of your appearance? It might be your ungroomed or overgroomed hair, or your suit – two sizes too small, or you simply look strangely out of place, wearing wrong clothes for the occasion. Really, there are moments that you would feel you could turn back in time and change what you are wearing. We know, because we have had our fair share of awkward moments.
Here is a scenario common to many men but something we will never admit. You are working in an environment full of beautiful women & men, and you find your “game” falling short. You want them to capture your “I am single and looking for a “special friend!” signals (Carefully presented, not to be mistaken with that “look-of-desperation”. People can smell desperation from miles away). Eager to avoid this you prepare. You figure you need to update your wardrobe and spend an entire weekend shopping, renewing your clothing inventory. The next Monday, feeling all excited you put on your new Ralph Lauren suit with that cool purple tie. You march into the office with a satisfying, manly grin that just screams “I am attractive... Now! Look!” but they just don't pay attention. Even worse, you feel the ones that are looking are talking behind your back. Feeling hurt and deflated, then you realize – Incredible Hulk and The Thing from Fantastic Four might fit well in your jacket.
Desperate for a new strategy, after looking in the mirror you decide it must be your hair. Then you run to a hair saloon, dye your hair because you see someone else with a cool dye job, felt you needed to cover some of the grey, or you received a suggestion from a friend. After all, blending in too much just isn't cool. Stand out. Color your hair. That's one cool idea, right? WRONG!
Did you know that hair products can actually change your hair (dye) color? The hair color you chose initially will not stay the same. What about the business meeting in fifteen minutes!? Good luck trying to get your hair color to look “natural”. Hopefully your boss won't think you are taking your love for Lady Gaga too seriously, or worse, he thinks you look just like his Aunt Ruth, with an orange halo! Unless you plan to spend a HUGE amount of time on your hair everyday, avoid hair dye.
Most of us cringe, and avoid the guy who appears downright embarrassing (You don't know where to look when speaking with him). That awkward appearance will obliterate his previous “hot” style points. It will turn turn his previous from “9” rating to a “2” in 4 seconds flat.
He (and you) will remember that most of us still commit similar sartorial crimes. We all put ourselves in embarrassing situations. Just BE CAREFUL; some of these crimes last forever. Think: Family Photo Album (you wearing grandma's sweater, complete with reindeer on it); or worse, your “best” friend posts the photo online. You will need to hire an attorney to get rid of that one.
Fortunately, there are ways to help you steer clear from those embarrassing moments. You can, in fact, easily save yourself from most nightmare scenarios. You can learn to look better. It takes some effort, but this series of articles will make it as easy as possible.
Read more in Part II soon.
Read more in Part II soon.